A few weeks ago, I bought a big bag of liquorices. When I got home, I promised myself I could have one before preparing dinner. I was already quite hungry and when the first one was finished, I almost immediately reached for the bag again for a second one - because an extra drop can't do much harm, can it? But before I realised it, I grabbed a third ... and a fourth ... and then something crazy happened.
Suddenly I thought "pff I've had so many now, I might as well eat the whole bag empty," and then I gorged myself completely on liquorice. Completely unnecessary (and unhealthy) of course, which is why I was a bit ashamed of myself afterwards. After all, where was my self-control, I would only eat one anyway? So why is the whole bag suddenly empty now anyway?
Does this situation sound familiar to you? After all, this was a prime example of the 'what-the-hell-effect' and it has no doubt happened to everyone at some point. The what? You read it right: what the hell. This term was coined in the 1980s by two psychologists. What they mean by it is the following:
- You set a goal for yourself:
"I may eat one liquorice." - You tell yourself that it is not so bad to miss the mark by a very small amount:
"Another drop can't hurt, right?" - You push the boundary further and further for yourself:
"One more then. Okay maybe one more anyway. Go on, one more." - To your mind, you have now gone so far beyond your goal that it all no longer matters to you:
"Never mind, now I might as well keep eating." - You lose all self-control
"I'm halfway through the bag now, so it can actually just run out," he said.
You can actually apply this frame to many situations. For instance, when you go to a shop to buy one shirt, unexpectedly see another nice shirt and before you know it you are walking out of the shop with two full bags. Or when you have been jogging every evening for a week, decide not to go on Saturday because of the rain, are completely out of rhythm and finally stop running in the evening.
The psychologists who investigated this phenomenon found out that it was all to do with shame and feeling bad. Because because you hadn't kept to your goal, you are disappointed, and your brain flies to find a way to make you feel better. And in that moment, what makes you feel better the quickest? Well, often it is the very thing you were trying to avoid: eating a lot, shopping, or not exercising. So we're pretty much done with that.
So it is absolutely not your fault if you do end up in this kind of situation from time to time, but with the following tips, you can avoid that vicious cycle next time:
- Make it easy on yourself.
It sounds so simple, but this is often where it already goes wrong. If you set a goal for yourself to eat one sweet while you are extremely hungry, you actually make it impossible to stick to it. Instead, it's better to postpone snacking and eat something else that is more filling first - so that you won't be so hungry afterwards. (This is also exactly where it went wrong for me.)
Another example: if you know that you are often completely exhausted after a full working day, don't plan to continue to the gym after work. It's much more tempting at such a time to just go home, so then you make it so hard on yourself. Keep it simple, and pick a time when you are most likely to stick to your plan.Tip: You can best avoid the 'what-the-hell-effect' by having only one goal at a time. The more goals, the harder you make it for yourself.
- Be proud and reward yourself
Every time you have to push yourself to (not) do something, it takes a lot of energy. This is why people talk about a 'willpower muscle', and if this muscle is under tension all day, it is completely depleted at the end of the day. So the harder you try, the greater the temptation to let go. But you can relieve some of that pressure if you often reward yourself for trying so hard - it has been scientifically proven that this works! Compliment yourself, go do something fun with your friends or do something else that makes you happy. You've earned it! - Put things in perspective and look at the big picture
Remember, it's really not the end of the world if one day doesn't go the way you had hoped, those things happen. What is much more important is that tomorrow is another day. Forgive yourself for that time it went wrong (because it has happened now anyway) and go back to your plan. New round, new opportunities.
Also try to keep your end goal firmly in mind. What do you actually find more important in the end: that every day goes exactly as planned, or that you eventually reach your final goal with a few bumps in the road? If your favourite football team loses one game and then throws in the towel, you wouldn't put up with that either, would you? That one day really won't make such a difference if you just pick up the thread after that and do your best.
So, to make a long story short: don't make it too hard on yourself, be proud of yourself and remember that tomorrow is a new day 🙂 🙂 ...
Sources:
Tesser & Martin (1996), Striving and Feeling: Interactions Among Goals, Affect and Self-Regulation.
Polivy & Herman (1985). Dieting and binging: A causal analysis.
